Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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