The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Barsexuality is the new black.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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