Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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