i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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