how can u be prego again
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
