I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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