im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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