I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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