At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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