the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
