You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
