seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
smell my finger.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
