You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
