No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
