We tried having a conversation with our noses.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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