i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
