So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
