just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
