I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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