I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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