He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
