ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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