My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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