"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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