At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
People in love make me want to vomit
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
