Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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