his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
