I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
