it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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