Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
