What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
