Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
