Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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