Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
