Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
