xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I believe in your delicious
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
