Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize