is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
