um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
