If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
