brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
