69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
