if i died would you start the facebook group?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
