We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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