i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
