Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
