We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
