Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
