Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
