So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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