i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dignity is for republicans.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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