watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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