I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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