I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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