So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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