He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
