do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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