You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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