you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
