Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
