Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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