he wants to bone in the snuggie
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
