i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
