Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
