She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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