Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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