Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
