i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
