i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
